Procrastination—or “procrastination syndrome”—is something many people struggle with. Our own priorities and desires have long been clear, because, after all, we live in a world where we can easily discover a wide range of topics for reflection on our own through podcasts or good, thought-provoking reading.
But what if everything you’ve read doesn’t help?
In that case, it’s quite possible that a past experience is guiding our actions today. Experiences that we’ve stored as “negative” are usually relational experiences (with parents, teachers, or other close caregivers) as well as experiences related to performance (school, sports clubs, etc.). We usually don’t remember these experiences, and as a result, we feel “lost” in our search for a possible solution.
When Anne came in for coaching, she initially came across as fresh, engaged, dynamic, and self-assured—a go-getter. She explained that, for reasons she couldn’t explain, she suddenly felt very inhibited in the presence of her supervisor. She noticed that she couldn’t express herself clearly or assert herself around him, and that she had developed a tendency to put off conversations with him—and even her own decisions on the project. She increasingly found that exciting new projects were being assigned to other colleagues and felt that her boss didn’t think much of her. In our preliminary discussion, she expressed her desire to feel internally free and self-assured when interacting with her boss. She mentioned that she had already engaged in a great deal of self-reflection and had read several books on the subject. Nothing had really helped. In a case like this, it makes sense to take a deep dive using a systemic constellation!
During her constellation, it became clear that as a child she had been very afraid of her first-grade teacher. This teacher was clearly struggling with his aggression, and little Anne—who was just 6 years old at the time—had stored this experience in her memory as very threatening. Her strategy as a child was to be quiet and invisible. After the constellation, she said she had no memories of this teacher at all, but upon asking her parents, she learned that she had, in fact, often come home crying during her first year of school.
During the constellation, the connection to her current blockage became clear: her current boss and the professional (dependency) dynamic had reawakened this old experience. This is what led to her current reluctance as well as her hesitation to make decisions. The constellation led to a profound clarification.
Two weeks later, Anne told me that the constellation had really stirred things up inside her and that, after a few days, she woke up one morning with a completely new sense of well-being. At a later meeting, she told me that her boss had given her this feedback: “This new Anne is great—keep it up!” Anne herself says that she can now hardly remember why she ever felt so inhibited around her boss.
Do you have an issue you’d like to resolve? If so, let’s talk about whether your issue is suitable for a constellation—whether in a one-on-one session or as part of a constellation day with representatives.
You can find more information under the menu item: System Configuration.