You and I know that technological change has increased both the pace and the abundance of distractions. I don’t know about you, but I often find myself forgetting that. I suppose that what we have to “get done” these days is somehow normal—call it “the usual madness” or even the “hamster wheel.” And it seems many others feel the same way. There’s just something about our world today that tempts us to keep falling back into the rut of just getting by.
Yet a day that we plan ourselves and actively shape feels much healthier and more meaningful. I’ve put together a short checklist of things that help me personally—and apparently my clients as well. Maybe you’d like to give it a try sometime:
In coaching jargon, this is also called “acknowledging what is.” I think it’s helpful for us to take a moment every now and then to be honest with ourselves and ask, “Is this still normal?” “Am I still normal?” “Is this okay the way it is?” If the thought then occurs to you, “I feel like I’m on a hamster wheel,” that’s already the first step toward change.
All you need to do is mark a time on your calendar so you’ll remember to “put your hand on your heart”—for example, during a walk on the beach.
The next step would then be to look for opportunities to shape things on your own. Perhaps you’re also familiar with colleagues like Mr. Aber, Ms. Can’t-Be-Done, and Mr. How-Exactly—who are all too happy to get in your way and block your view of those opportunities. If you then go back to Step 1 and realize that these “obstacles” have now stepped in, you’ve improved your chances of making a change. What you can do is ask the “obstructors” within you (psychology calls these “parts,” “inner team members,” “states,” etc.) to step aside a little.
I’m convinced that looking for opportunities always leads to finding them. Just don’t give up too soon. I’ve noticed myself—and I see it in my clients—that there are many ways to enrich your daily work life, slow down, and make it more fulfilling. To do this, it helps to make a mental comparison. What do I want? What is it like when my (work) day aligns with who I am? What is it like right now? How can I get closer to my ideal? What does that mean in concrete terms?
Maybe you’d like to grab a sketchpad and some colored pencils, imagine your ideal day in your mind’s eye, and draw it. That’s where you want to be!
Even small changes require extra energy. So it’s okay if you think, “Wow, this is exhausting”—that’s just your old habit speaking up (Mr. But, Ms. Can’t, or Mr. How-Exactly-Please). The key is to RECOGNIZE this “pull” toward the old habit … (well? … what do you think? … yes, exactly) and to push past it, doing the new thing anyway.
Did you know that you can form a new habit by repeating something about 8 times? For example, if you tell yourself that you want to start your mornings more leisurely and enjoy your first cup of coffee… …then get everything ready the night before so that you’re immediately reminded of this little ritual in the morning and don’t have to expend a lot of energy on it. If you stick with this for just a few days, you’ll start to miss it by the 9th day at the latest. Why not give it a try and start with something small?
