From the outside, the coaching profession often looks like a job on the sunny side of life: meaningful conversations, flexible hours, eye-opening moments—a bit like “New Work on two legs.”
With 23 years of experience as a full-time coach, I can say: Yes, this bright side does exist, and it’s huge. But it comes with a few downsides that we don’t talk about as often.
+++The Bright Side: When Words Really Lead to Change
Most evenings at the dinner table, I say, “It was another wonderful day, full of meaningful encounters and productive conversations.”
To address the critics right off the bat: Yes, I’m well-trained. But hey: 23 years ago, I wasn’t as good as I am today—are you? Please give the coaches of the world a chance to do their jobs and get better every day. I think anyone who has a good sense of “what I can do and what I can’t (yet) do” will do a good job. In this profession, you get better mainly by doing. Fancy certificates don’t make a good coach. You have to take the first step. And in a country that places so much faith in certificates, that in itself is proof of courage—and something we should view positively.
What kinds of experiences make the coaching profession so rewarding? When an executive finally feels well-prepared and can sleep soundly again. When an HR manager says with relief, “Now I can finally contribute substantively and feel that I’m finally being taken seriously.” When someone in the midst of a life transition says: “I can tell I’m coming out of my low point; I was really scared.” When I help someone explore the connections between early life experiences and current stress, and that person is then able to better integrate those experiences, live more easily, and emerge from their depressive state.
These are the moments when coaching (or therapy) feels meaningful to me: We step back a bit from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, look down from the safety of our setting at patterns, decisions, boundaries, and possibilities, walk part of the way together—and then my clients return to their everyday lives with greater awareness and self-determination, in a better place.
I recently read a comment: “People only need an expensive coach because they no longer have deep conversations with their friends.” That’s an interesting perspective. There’s often so much judgment, disparagement, or even arrogance hidden between the lines—I don’t think that’s a good trend. I’m glad that people today are taking the opportunity to discuss these issues with a professional. My personal highlight was a few years ago, when several clients—including some couples—met in the waiting room of our practice and struck up a conversation with one another. That would have been completely unthinkable back in 2003, the year I founded my practice. I think it’s great that our society is finally moving away from this pattern of always wanting to deal with everything on our own. Friends and family should a) not be burdened with certain issues, b) aren’t trained to handle them—and in fact often can’t really help—and c) are often the very reason people have to seek help in the first place.
+++Where there’s sunshine, there’s also shade: Enduring Hardships and Taking Responsibility
But the truth is also this: coaching means being part of other people’s lives to some extent. For the coach, that means being able to endure certain things. I witness a great, great deal of tears and despair.
After all, behind every manager, every HR professional, every employee, and every person lies a personal story and situation that can be quite complex.
All of this is deeply moving and requires a healthy tolerance threshold, keen perceptiveness, excellent self-reflection, and strong boundary-setting skills. All of this comes with growing experience. The longer I’ve been doing this, the less rigid processes and methods matter—just as in a therapeutic context, the relationship is what matters most in coaching as well. However, it is my professional commitment to work very conscientiously and thoroughly at the crucial points and to proceed methodically. When I do use methods, I prefer science-based ones that are highly transparent and easy to understand. My goal is to strengthen self-determination, and to that end, my coachees should always have access to methodological and psychoeducational resources, be able to read up on them, and feel independent and empowered to take action on their own.
Despite—and because of—this responsibility, I find great meaning in my profession: joy in my clients’ successes, in their growth, in their increased self-determination and effectiveness, and in their noticeably greater satisfaction.
If you’re toying with the idea of working with people: What if it works out? What if it’s a really good, life-changing idea? I’d be happy to talk with you about this desire and offer some initial guidance.
The timing might even be particularly good: I’ll be offering a coaching training program soon. Practical, orienting, and concrete. It will draw on my experience as a coach and therapist and—I’d like to emphasize this—will incorporate the core tools that have proven effective in practice: ID37 (a scientifically validated personality analysis) and my Leadership Expedition (a leadership simulation/game).
Even experienced coaches who are already familiar with these core tools can learn them from me; the dates for these sessions are already listed on my website under “Events.”
#coachingasaprofession #coachingtraining #successasacoach #id37
