Finding Your Way
When you set out on a journey, you should know where you’re going. That’s an age-old piece of wisdom. Yet it’s often neglected when we think about our professional satisfaction. It’s not at all about following a picture-perfect career path, but rather about achieving genuine, inner satisfaction. “Mental contrasting” can be extremely helpful in this regard.
What target research can offer us
The relatively unknown scientific discipline of “goal research” is a highly fascinating but unfortunately little-known field. Gabriele Oettingen, Professor of Psychology at the University of Hamburg, has been researching and teaching in this area for 20 years and, in her book “The Psychology of Success,” examines how motivations translate into action. The core of the book is the method of “mental contrasting.” In short, this involves combining positive visions of the future with the visualization of what lies between this vision and the present.
Positive visions of the future are the be-all and end-all
Gabriele Oettingen posits on a theoretical level (and I can only confirm this from my own practical experience): First and foremost, we need dreams! If we want to achieve our goal, positive visions of the future are essentially irreplaceable. After all, anyone who has no dream—and thus, essentially, no idea of where they’d like to “end up”—simply sees no reason to get started. Without a defined goal, our efforts may, in the worst case, lack direction: Starting from a current situation that we “just want to get away from,” we quickly end up on a erratic path of trial and error. This is extremely exhausting, tiring, and, not least, it robs us of valuable time.
Think Big
I really enjoy doing an experiment with my clients on this topic and give them the following task: Imagine an ideal workday in your future. How do you wake up on a day like that, how do you feel, how do you start your day, and what do you see in your mind’s eye? In this exercise, it’s important for the client to follow their feelings and truly allow themselves to experience any images that arise—without judging or censoring them. The images aren’t forced; rather, they “surface” on their own, just like in an inner movie theater.
Going Beyond Yourself
In this exercise, pay close attention to when someone starts to overthink their dream and wish journey—that is, when they increasingly rely on their rational mind—the left hemisphere of the brain! If, on the other hand, a person succeeds in truly dreaming and allowing previously unconscious longings to emerge before their inner eye, this is already evident in their entire body posture and facial expression. Many people begin to glow when visualizing and often even develop a fresher, more alert complexion. Their posture also becomes more upright, and their eyes sparkle. With an additional experiment, this effect can even be measured. The effect is so striking that I sometimes ask clients, “Would you mind standing here by the doorframe for a moment? I’ll place a book on your head for a moment and then draw a line with a pencil. Then we’ll see how tall you are right now. We’ll repeat the same thing once you’re fully back in the present moment. My goal is for you to notice what I’m noticing right now.” In the vision, clients are six to eight centimeters taller. Some people remember this “marking your height on the door” activity from their childhood. For my clients, it demonstrates: this vision is right for me; it lifts me up and lets me grow. Effortlessly!
So my message is this: Dream, because by doing so, you’re laying the foundation for what you’ll achieve later on!
Now More Than Ever
However, “contrasting”—that is, looking at and, above all, feeling your way into your current, possibly unsatisfying situation—is at least as important. According to Oettingen, the success of the method lies in the following formula: recognizing the difference (“I’m still in the present and haven’t reached my goal”) and the frustration that comes with it generate the crucial amount of energy for action that makes it possible to overcome this situation and thus bring about change.
Frustration as a Driving Force for Change
Incidentally, one of the great things about being a coach is that many clients come to me already brimming with a great deal of frustration. This paves the way for change right from the start. In 90% of cases, I see just how quickly the method takes effect and how significant progress is made in formulating and achieving goals—that is, how visions first take shape in the imagination and then become a concrete reality. Day after day, we prove that many things can be shaped. And now, go ahead and do well. True to the motto: “Just do what you want.”
